I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize