I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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