used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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