no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
