My pussy is not your playground.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
