Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
