You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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