we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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