She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
