I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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