Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's not a walk of shame if you run
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
