So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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