I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
