You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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