Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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