Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
