I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
