great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
