You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize