You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
