he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
