true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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