I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
