She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
