I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
