At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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