I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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