she looked like the before picture.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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