Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
