How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
