but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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