I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
