Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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