Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
