how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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