dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize