This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
