I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
