You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
