butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
