I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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