I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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