he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
