I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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