no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize