Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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