He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
