those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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