She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
