i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
