I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
