He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
