i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
