the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
