Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
