Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
