Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
